I am hoping my last post didn't come across as arrogant or degrading. And I would never want anyone to think that I am judging nor belittling anyone who does gain lots of weight back after the lose. I understand that this battle of weight is incredibly hard. This "cushion" goal that I spoke is only my own personal goal and mental set point. I know that it is very possible and sadly, very likey that this goal could expire because of different circumstamces in the future. If I let that time come, I will face it and address it then, and hopefully work harder. I in no way do not think ill of any one else's weight gains or losses. I only know that goals help us, and that is what I try to do, make goals and pray I keep them. I also try and keep them realistic, and also know that I myself still have a long way to go. I also know that with current lifestyle and load that it may not be practical to get as small as I envision myself. So my goal is to be healthy and happy :) I hope my intention to be motivating doesnt come off as arrogance or discouragment. I didn't intend to write so much about myself, I just saw it fit to tell a little about my past and the goals I hold myself to.
One more disclaimer.....the purpose of this blog is to be held accountable and tell our story. It's an honest blog. And Darrin fully supports it. He reads it before I send it out. We talk about the week before I write and we talk about how honest we are going to be. I love how supportive Darrin is. This keeps me goimg. This helps me know that he CAN change his eating habits He's a good man; with good intentions, and intends to change. I'm just a factor, someone to push him and someone to hold his hand. I do believe people have different learning styles...and being with Darrin for over 12 years, I'vd learned he has to be be broken down (appropriately) before he gets built up (a lot of building up). That would never work for me. He also does better when he sees things in writing. It "hits home" for him when it's written. Talking does very little for him until he sees some things written first.
Darrin has every intention this week to continue with his new love this week.....cross-fit and will focus on cardio. We also got him little mini notebooks and he will be writing everything down that he eats. He says paper works better than his phone. We also got a little food scale and will be measuring every portion of food that needs measuring. I hope to encourage him daily! We are both growing in leaps and bounds regardlless of any weight loss or gain. We know each other, love each other, and we are getting to know each other better and learning to love each other more through this experience. We are also so grateful for the support from our friends and families. Thank you for being on this journey with us!
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Where do we go from here?
I wasn't going to post anything to day because I'm sad, hurt and upset. Darrin didn't lose any weight again this week. I feel defeated and cheated because I am putting a lot of effort into this too. I know I shouldn't take Darrin's success and failures personally but I can't help it. Why do I take it personally? Because he is my husband. He is the man I want to be with here on earthy till I'm 100 years old. I take it personally because I know if he doesn't make these changes and STAY committed, then I am going to lose him. This isn't dramatic, this is real life. Obesity kills. Eventually, and I don't know how eventually, but eventually, it will kill my husband. For twelve years I have been trying to convince Big 'D' to lose weight to get healthy, to be more active. I've always been very well aware that you can't "give" somebody your passion or motivation to lose weight. The last twelve years have been a good learning lesson on those topics. Like I have said in other posts before, what I don't understand is why can't some people including my husband just get the motivation? Why can't they just commit?? I wish commitment to a goal was as easy as science. If it were only physical then it might be easy, but it's not. It's more mental than anything, and it takes commitment. I thought for sure when Darrin watched me, his wife change and commit and become passionate, then he would naturally want to join me. Can I explain why I am so passionate?
I myself have been up and down for most of my adult life for many different reasons. But over 3 years ago I committed myself to a healthier lifestyle. It was a lonely commitment because once again, I knew I couldn't make Darrin do it with me. I began to exercise on a regular basis. In the beginning I would work out sometimes three times a day and on average currently I do 90 min cardio 4-5 days a week and 30-45 minutes of strength training 3 days a week. I started eating healthier, but mostly I started eating in moderation. (more extreme healthy eating is my biggest struggle) Shoot, if losing weight in my case were only about calories in and calories out, then I would be one hot momma and weight loss would be easy because I would consistently see results. Weightloss for me has never been thus way. It is definitely highly based on calories in calories burned, but in my case, not all of it, because I'm living proof of that. Its taken me 4.5 months to lose 18 pounds....and I promise thats definitely not caloreis in calories out. At many times in my journey the hours of exercise I put in with calories burned and the the amount of calories I've eaten just don't show the science on the scale. Again, if it were science, then it would be easy. Women in particular have to add pregnancies, metabolisms and different hormone levels in to the equation. Men do to, but this is a battle more women have to deal with. I guess what my point is.....many, many times I have had to tell myself not to let the scale get me down and to keep up the hard work because eventually it will pay off, eventually. ANYWAYS Once I committed, I stayed committed and I lost most of my weight. (which has been around 70-90 pounds because at one point I hit 235lb)
Once I lost weight, I was able to maintain for a while, but eventually saw a few pounds returning because of an injury I had and was unable to exercise. (well, exercise the way I wanted to, which is a huge mental block!) I was also experiencing a difficult and painful miscarriage at the time. Sadly, when I don't eat right then I don't like to exercise, and when I don't exercise I don't like to eat right. A very vicious cycle. Soooo, this is what lead to creating a "mental cushion" BIG goal so to speak. This cushion was that I could not gain more than 20 pounds EVER the whole rest of my life. Some may think this is too big of a cushion, but remember...I am a woman....and want more babies, so I set this goal accordingly...keeping in mind the pain I was in, doctors recommendations and pregnancy weight gain. Haha, what did I do? I gained twenty pounds....grrrr! But I was grateful for my mental set-point because that was all I let myself gain and then I dabbled with those twenty pounds for the next year because of different injuries and also another pregnancy. So that's what I have been left with twenty pounds! Well, after this last baby I stayed committed to my initial goals and I have lost about 18 of those 20 pounds and now would like to lose another 15. I keep wanting to lose more, and need to lose more once I reach a goal. Just the story of every ones lives right?!
I don't know why staying committed has been something doable for me. Maybe it's a gift? Don't get me wrong, it definitely hasn't been easy on any level, but this does not mean that because things get hard you give up. Commitment isn't easy, it's doable. I've struggled with many different trials and with many different schedules. I've had it "easy" and "slow" at times and I've had it "difficult" and "fast". I could give you my stories, but that my friends, would have to be a different blog. Lets just say, I'm like everyone else, I've been through some hard things too. I actually, very much, appreciate my many different situations because now I can't hold myself to any excuses. When I hear myself think of different excuses of why I don't want to work out or why I want to eat something full of fat, I also hear myself say "Sorry tootz, been there, done that, move on and get it done." I know my trials aren't finished and I know that I probably haven't been through my hardest yet, but I'm in high hopes that I can stay true to this lifestyle I committed to three years ago. It feels too good! A couple years ago on Thanksgiving trip, I was having a family discussion and I brought up my past pregnancy weight gain disappointments and my fears of such during my current pregnancy. One of my brother's-in-law said to me "Annie, you're like an athlete now, you know what your doing, you'll be fine." He said it in such a matter-of-fact tone. I was on cloud nine! I have many in-laws who are athletes and I have always admired their athletic abilities and mind sets. This particular brother-in-law may not even remember saying this to me and probably doesn't know the effect his words had on me. However, they set the tone for the rest of my pregnancy and for my future. I had a new motto that season to add to my motto list.... "I'm an athlete, I can do this".
Are you understanding my passion now?? I want to stay active and I want to continue eating right. No, I don't want to feel deprived. I still have "fun eating" at many times. Lets face it, life is fun, fun at many times involves eating, and eating is fun! But that doesn't mean you aren't committed!! I want to be able to, for as long as possible, play soccer with my kids and have fun jumping on a trampoline with them. Our family activity this week we went to a way cool trampoline place. I jumped with my girls for nearly an hour and had a blast! That evening I heard my girls having a conversation and it went something like this.... Brylee: "You know, we have a cool mommy because she jumped with us." Tommye-Lynn replied: "I already knew mommy was cool, I've known that for over 9 years now." This made me smile so darn big!! This is what I want! To do things with my kids!! And this is why I take Darrin's success personally, because I want daddy to be able to do things with his kids too!!! THIS IS PERSONAL!!! Darrin wasn't able to jump with us because of the 280lb weight limit. You could tell this kinda stung. Darrin sat lonely on the sidelines watching us play. We all felt it, we all missed him in that moment. This will be our "before" activity. Hopefully on week 24, Darrin will be able to join!?
Like I said, I wasn't going to do a post today because am sad and upset. But I decided to, because I still believe in Darrin. I still have hope that he can change. He did so well this week with his cross-fit workouts. He LOVES his cross-fit. I'm glad we have found this outlet and that it was made possible for him to do cross-fit. But at the same time, he has to raise the bar and do more cardio. It's not the only ingredient in his recipe for weight loss. For someone who has over 100 pounds to lose you have to do a whole lot more cardio than that. To be able climb mountains, run races, and do long distance or long/high endurance aerobic activities, lke he wants to do, he has to but in the miles at the gym doing cardio. I definitely love what these cross-fit workouts have been doing for Darrin, but he MUST get the cardio in, and he has got to change his views on moderation and eating better. Eating is such a HUGE key.... He keeps flip flopping between diets. He's trying to find a silver lining way of eating. Sorry, there just isn't one. It's only eating healthy and clean that will get it done. Fuel for the body. This is the key. Darrin has the key and just needs to use it correctly. Yep, I wasn't going to post, but I realized once again, I'm not going to give up on my husband. I won't do it.I'm going to work harder on him, hold him more accountable. Encourage him and try to motivate him. He may not end taking the grand prize in this competition, but he can still change his life. And if he really wants to, he really could still win the grand prize. But his sights need to be set on something even bigger.....His activity with his kids and his wife?? Nope, even bigger....his life, his health, his death. Again, this isn't being dramatic, this is real life; and I want my husband in that life.
Other stats.....this week our family healthy food experiment included zucchini, peas and cantaloupe. Cantaloupe was and easy one, because the girls like this one, they just let themselves forget that they liked that fruit. :) We even had a friend of Tommye's come over for a dinner and homework night and she participated in our experiment. She actually hates a lot of veggies too. She was hesitant, but such a good trooper. She actually ended up asking for another helping! Way to go Taylor! The girls still don't like zucchini but are now tolerant of peas. And of course love the cantaloupe. :) I am so excited about the changes my girls are making. They are trying new things even outside of new vegetable and fruits. Their whole mind sets are changing and that is what this family competition is all about!
And now, FINALLY our "before" activity....just a little behind our time line. We are human right?
Pics of the Jump Time activity! Our little gymnist :)
Mommy getting good "air" on our slam dunk contest and race with Tommeye! Sorry its blurry!!
I have also gotten a GREAT response so far to our FHS employee health activity!!! I am thrilled!! I'll post more details next week. And I really really really hope to have some good news next week with Darrin's progress!! Actually, I do have some fun news for you......Darrin and I are starting a 6-week ballroom dance class next week where we will be learning the cha cha every Thursday night! What a great way to workout and to get closer as a couple. I'm so excited about this, and grateful for a husband who will do this with me.!! There is always hope, and I believe Darrin can do this. Lets not give up on him!!! We love you Big 'D'!!!!! Where do we go from here??? Up.
I myself have been up and down for most of my adult life for many different reasons. But over 3 years ago I committed myself to a healthier lifestyle. It was a lonely commitment because once again, I knew I couldn't make Darrin do it with me. I began to exercise on a regular basis. In the beginning I would work out sometimes three times a day and on average currently I do 90 min cardio 4-5 days a week and 30-45 minutes of strength training 3 days a week. I started eating healthier, but mostly I started eating in moderation. (more extreme healthy eating is my biggest struggle) Shoot, if losing weight in my case were only about calories in and calories out, then I would be one hot momma and weight loss would be easy because I would consistently see results. Weightloss for me has never been thus way. It is definitely highly based on calories in calories burned, but in my case, not all of it, because I'm living proof of that. Its taken me 4.5 months to lose 18 pounds....and I promise thats definitely not caloreis in calories out. At many times in my journey the hours of exercise I put in with calories burned and the the amount of calories I've eaten just don't show the science on the scale. Again, if it were science, then it would be easy. Women in particular have to add pregnancies, metabolisms and different hormone levels in to the equation. Men do to, but this is a battle more women have to deal with. I guess what my point is.....many, many times I have had to tell myself not to let the scale get me down and to keep up the hard work because eventually it will pay off, eventually. ANYWAYS Once I committed, I stayed committed and I lost most of my weight. (which has been around 70-90 pounds because at one point I hit 235lb)
Once I lost weight, I was able to maintain for a while, but eventually saw a few pounds returning because of an injury I had and was unable to exercise. (well, exercise the way I wanted to, which is a huge mental block!) I was also experiencing a difficult and painful miscarriage at the time. Sadly, when I don't eat right then I don't like to exercise, and when I don't exercise I don't like to eat right. A very vicious cycle. Soooo, this is what lead to creating a "mental cushion" BIG goal so to speak. This cushion was that I could not gain more than 20 pounds EVER the whole rest of my life. Some may think this is too big of a cushion, but remember...I am a woman....and want more babies, so I set this goal accordingly...keeping in mind the pain I was in, doctors recommendations and pregnancy weight gain. Haha, what did I do? I gained twenty pounds....grrrr! But I was grateful for my mental set-point because that was all I let myself gain and then I dabbled with those twenty pounds for the next year because of different injuries and also another pregnancy. So that's what I have been left with twenty pounds! Well, after this last baby I stayed committed to my initial goals and I have lost about 18 of those 20 pounds and now would like to lose another 15. I keep wanting to lose more, and need to lose more once I reach a goal. Just the story of every ones lives right?!
I don't know why staying committed has been something doable for me. Maybe it's a gift? Don't get me wrong, it definitely hasn't been easy on any level, but this does not mean that because things get hard you give up. Commitment isn't easy, it's doable. I've struggled with many different trials and with many different schedules. I've had it "easy" and "slow" at times and I've had it "difficult" and "fast". I could give you my stories, but that my friends, would have to be a different blog. Lets just say, I'm like everyone else, I've been through some hard things too. I actually, very much, appreciate my many different situations because now I can't hold myself to any excuses. When I hear myself think of different excuses of why I don't want to work out or why I want to eat something full of fat, I also hear myself say "Sorry tootz, been there, done that, move on and get it done." I know my trials aren't finished and I know that I probably haven't been through my hardest yet, but I'm in high hopes that I can stay true to this lifestyle I committed to three years ago. It feels too good! A couple years ago on Thanksgiving trip, I was having a family discussion and I brought up my past pregnancy weight gain disappointments and my fears of such during my current pregnancy. One of my brother's-in-law said to me "Annie, you're like an athlete now, you know what your doing, you'll be fine." He said it in such a matter-of-fact tone. I was on cloud nine! I have many in-laws who are athletes and I have always admired their athletic abilities and mind sets. This particular brother-in-law may not even remember saying this to me and probably doesn't know the effect his words had on me. However, they set the tone for the rest of my pregnancy and for my future. I had a new motto that season to add to my motto list.... "I'm an athlete, I can do this".
Are you understanding my passion now?? I want to stay active and I want to continue eating right. No, I don't want to feel deprived. I still have "fun eating" at many times. Lets face it, life is fun, fun at many times involves eating, and eating is fun! But that doesn't mean you aren't committed!! I want to be able to, for as long as possible, play soccer with my kids and have fun jumping on a trampoline with them. Our family activity this week we went to a way cool trampoline place. I jumped with my girls for nearly an hour and had a blast! That evening I heard my girls having a conversation and it went something like this.... Brylee: "You know, we have a cool mommy because she jumped with us." Tommye-Lynn replied: "I already knew mommy was cool, I've known that for over 9 years now." This made me smile so darn big!! This is what I want! To do things with my kids!! And this is why I take Darrin's success personally, because I want daddy to be able to do things with his kids too!!! THIS IS PERSONAL!!! Darrin wasn't able to jump with us because of the 280lb weight limit. You could tell this kinda stung. Darrin sat lonely on the sidelines watching us play. We all felt it, we all missed him in that moment. This will be our "before" activity. Hopefully on week 24, Darrin will be able to join!?
Like I said, I wasn't going to do a post today because am sad and upset. But I decided to, because I still believe in Darrin. I still have hope that he can change. He did so well this week with his cross-fit workouts. He LOVES his cross-fit. I'm glad we have found this outlet and that it was made possible for him to do cross-fit. But at the same time, he has to raise the bar and do more cardio. It's not the only ingredient in his recipe for weight loss. For someone who has over 100 pounds to lose you have to do a whole lot more cardio than that. To be able climb mountains, run races, and do long distance or long/high endurance aerobic activities, lke he wants to do, he has to but in the miles at the gym doing cardio. I definitely love what these cross-fit workouts have been doing for Darrin, but he MUST get the cardio in, and he has got to change his views on moderation and eating better. Eating is such a HUGE key.... He keeps flip flopping between diets. He's trying to find a silver lining way of eating. Sorry, there just isn't one. It's only eating healthy and clean that will get it done. Fuel for the body. This is the key. Darrin has the key and just needs to use it correctly. Yep, I wasn't going to post, but I realized once again, I'm not going to give up on my husband. I won't do it.I'm going to work harder on him, hold him more accountable. Encourage him and try to motivate him. He may not end taking the grand prize in this competition, but he can still change his life. And if he really wants to, he really could still win the grand prize. But his sights need to be set on something even bigger.....His activity with his kids and his wife?? Nope, even bigger....his life, his health, his death. Again, this isn't being dramatic, this is real life; and I want my husband in that life.
Other stats.....this week our family healthy food experiment included zucchini, peas and cantaloupe. Cantaloupe was and easy one, because the girls like this one, they just let themselves forget that they liked that fruit. :) We even had a friend of Tommye's come over for a dinner and homework night and she participated in our experiment. She actually hates a lot of veggies too. She was hesitant, but such a good trooper. She actually ended up asking for another helping! Way to go Taylor! The girls still don't like zucchini but are now tolerant of peas. And of course love the cantaloupe. :) I am so excited about the changes my girls are making. They are trying new things even outside of new vegetable and fruits. Their whole mind sets are changing and that is what this family competition is all about!And now, FINALLY our "before" activity....just a little behind our time line. We are human right?
Pics of the Jump Time activity! Our little gymnist :)
Mommy getting good "air" on our slam dunk contest and race with Tommeye! Sorry its blurry!!
I have also gotten a GREAT response so far to our FHS employee health activity!!! I am thrilled!! I'll post more details next week. And I really really really hope to have some good news next week with Darrin's progress!! Actually, I do have some fun news for you......Darrin and I are starting a 6-week ballroom dance class next week where we will be learning the cha cha every Thursday night! What a great way to workout and to get closer as a couple. I'm so excited about this, and grateful for a husband who will do this with me.!! There is always hope, and I believe Darrin can do this. Lets not give up on him!!! We love you Big 'D'!!!!! Where do we go from here??? Up.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
***It's Just Like You See in Television; We are our own reality show, just not nearly as entertaining!
A huge part of me has a love/hate relationship with reality shows, especially the "Biggest Loser". I used to sit and watch them all the time when they first started appearing. "Biggest Loser" was something that motivated me, same thing with" Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition". For years I would even at times beg Darrin to come and watch with me so maybe he could get motivated as well. Seeing the transformations to me was so awesome. It didn't work that way for Darrin, he never liked them until the finale end results. It wasn't until a couple years ago that I realized that those shows are so full of crap!! So much UN-REALITY! The people in these shows are hand picked and then given EVERYTHING! They get to quit their jobs, quit their families, quit their social lives. They are given healthy cooks and a kitchen full of healthy food. They don't show the hurting or the insanely sore muscles and the pains from their grueling workouts. They don't show the ice baths, the heating pads, the hot tubs, the stem machines, the body adjustments and all the supplements that heal these sore muscles and bones. They are given a support group immediately and have a home provided away from all temptations and given trainers that kick their Aces! Sure they try to incorporate all that back in, but that's where everything goes wrong. The only "biggest loser" prize ever given should be to the people who can do what they do on the reality shows but all on their own living their normal every day life. Lets put hidden cameras on them...but then it wouldn't be entertaining. I know it wouldn't be, because we are that reality show, and I promise you we aren't nearly as entertaining as Bob and Jillian. So many lies!
There are however, some truths to what you see on TV. The truth....THIS IS HARD!!! I love how they have trainers that kick their butts, but that kind of training would be financially catastrophic. Our version of the trainers = ME, the crazy wifey, I will not let this man quit! I will be Big 'D's motivation by proxy. I'm as close to Jillian as we will ever get to! Hahahaha, which isn't very close, maybe even miles away :) The other version of those trainers is cross-fit, thank heavens for cross-fit, because the leader that is assigned to Darrin is very motivating for Darrin and he is doing things he hasn't done since football practices 12 years ago. And the expense isn't nearly what it would cost to hire a personal daily trainer. Cross-fit is working!
The other truth I in what we see on TV is that there will be times where we cheat and are in denial about it, and that we HAVE to get the truth out! Big 'D' hit that landmark this week where he cheated and made himself believe it wasn't a problem. And It resulted in NO weight loss this week. He's lucky he didn't gain. One of Darrin's biggest temptations (as crazy as it sounds) is milk. Who would guess right?? He could drink gallon after gallon a day if I let him. Milk, as healthy as they claim is full of sugar and calories, it makes you gain weight, in the consumption that Darrin drinks. When we were on WIC, the amount of milk that program hands out is absolutely ridiculous! Well, not to Darrin, he loved every gallon of it. He gave it up cold turkey on Jan 4. Maybe that was the mistake?? Maybe he needs to incorporate a glass a day into his calorie intake? When he doesn't drink milk, a gallon in our fridge actually goes bad before the girls and I can finish it. When he drinks it, we were doing at least a gallon or more a day. No lie! That's not easy on the pocket book either.
Anyways we started buying half gallons cause we didn't want the milk to go bad. On Tuesday we had just put a new half gallon in the fridge. I remember seeing it before I left for work, un-opened. And then when I got home that evening, the entire half gallon was nearly gone. Maybe 1/2 cup left to put in the homemade mashed potatoes I was making for dinner. I knew all of our habits, so I went straight to Darrin with the milk jug in my hand and asked him if he drank all the milk (already knowing the answer). He of course denied it at first and said it was the girls, then was belligerent about it and confessed he drank it, but it was over a few days time, a sip here, a sip there. I knew this wasn't the truth. I begged him to please think about it. I begged him to drop his pride and to realize that he alone had drunk the whole jug all by himself. I told him he needed to realize this so we could move on. Also our 9 year old approached me around the same time this week and told me that daddy ate a lot of peanut butter M&M's. She said... "Daddy handed me a big bag of M&M's that he bought for me as a treat, but when he gave them to me they were already almost gone. Mommy I know he hate them." She was sad for her daddy. She can see Darrin's inner demons at work when it comes to food.
Well, a couple days later Darrin finally humbled himself and confessed he'd drunk all the milk himself in one day and talked about the bag of candy. This my friends is one of the only truths you see on the weight loss reality shows. They do show the battle that the contestants go through with their temptations and its the trainers job to help them see there failures. This is a role I have been well trained on over our 12 years of marriage. I take this duty on completely. I will beat the truth out of my husband if I have to! I will not let him fail this time!! We were able to move on this week and get back on the band wagon. Darrin was able to realize that he is going to have episodes where he will cheat, and we are willing to work with that, but that he MUST come clean about it! This was the episode in our little reality show with our first break through. Now lets keep it moving!!! Here's to a good week!!!
The girls this week did GREAT! We tried asparagus, and once again, it.was.hilarious. I prepared it a few different ways, but it didn't matter, the girls still hated it it! We also went back to tomatoes and this week I also threw in Kale on our salads! Success!!!!! On Monday, our first try of the the kale on our salad, Tommye asked for another helping! A salad with kale, green leaf lettuce, and tomatoes! Oh my heavens, did this make my heart happy. Who knew that I could be this happy over my oldest eating healthy?! Brylee was sick most of the week, so I had to be more lenient with her. However she did taste all the above, but unsuccessfully. Which is OK as taste buds actually are deceitful when sickness is present. We also tried blueberries which Tommye somewhat enjoyed, Brylee hated, and Heston loved! All in all....a good "food" week!
Our family activity was insanely difficult as usual to incorporate in our week. Darrin once again studied like crazy this week and he had his first second semester exam. We HATE first exams!! Darrin added up the total contributing hours of study devoted to this exam and he came to 55 hours. EEEK! I knew he was studying hard, but yikes! Selfishly, what I heard with that number....that's 55 hours where I was a single mom supporting a full-time student husband and I began to cry by myself in my room, knowing I couldn't let Darrin see my selfish grief. But this is ok everyone! I've bounced back and I'm ready to be supporting again, I just needed a moment to myself, a moment to dwell on myself and not anyone else, and then to get back on my own horse, put my big-girl panties back on and get moving myself! It's a new week! I am proud however to report that I lost some more weight and since the end of September until now, am happy to say I have lost around 17 pounds, 20 on a good day. (Other women will know what I mean). It took me four months, but hey its good! Another 15-20 to go. We are all working on our own demons. Darrin's is food, mine is loneliness mingled with business. I am soooooo grateful for support. We couldn't keep going without it. You know who you are. :)
Oh wait....You should all know.....Darrin got an 80 on his first exam!! One of the higher scores in his class! So proud! Now, that's a reality show for you!
Here are the pics of our family activity. We went sledding. What you can't see is my bad attitude because I was SO mad that the day before we had just gotten POUNDED with snow all day for the last two days, but then the very next day there was hardly any snow to get any productive sledding done!!! And I LOVE sledding, and I was looking forward to the workout that can come from it. NOPE, not this time. At least the girls could get some speed and they loved it inspite of the lack of snow, and that made me smile and my attitude shifted :)
This sled run actually had so much speed that they hit the fence and I yelled to Tommye "oh my gosh, hold on to Heston tight, don't let go!!" Good job Tommye, cause that's just what she did! Brylee actually ended up on the ground because of the force that they hit the fence, but her smile says it all!
Big enough pants?? I just realized that I have lived around 14-15 years of my life in state where it is cold and snows and I have NEVER owned my own pair of snow pants. These ones in the pic are Darrin's. I think its high time I get my own pair! Maybe at the end of this season when the prices are all marked down?? We'll see!
Daddy being a good daddy and giving us speed on the slow lack of snow hill. Also holding the tube so they could get some velocity!
When we get another good snow fall, we plan on doing this WAY more productively!! Boo on the snow, you let us down!
Also, if anyone is interested I am attaching the plan I presented the board of directors at my work. I was so extremely nervous and I felt like I couldn't even talk anymore because my mouth was as dry as cotton! Cotton Mouth at its worst!! BUT......the board LOVED all my ideas and it's going to happen!!! I'm so dang excited. I have a lot of work to do ahead of me, but it doesn't have to be done all at once. What I am inserting here is the flyer that will get emailed to all the employees this week. Right now we are trying to determine the level employee interest. And then we can go from there. The actual flyer I have is in a more entertaining form, but for some reason this blog site won't let me put it on here that way. So you get the boring and unorganized version, sorry! If your interested, all you have to do is click on the "read more" tab below!
Thanks everybody!! A better, happier post to come next week!! Love you all!!
There are however, some truths to what you see on TV. The truth....THIS IS HARD!!! I love how they have trainers that kick their butts, but that kind of training would be financially catastrophic. Our version of the trainers = ME, the crazy wifey, I will not let this man quit! I will be Big 'D's motivation by proxy. I'm as close to Jillian as we will ever get to! Hahahaha, which isn't very close, maybe even miles away :) The other version of those trainers is cross-fit, thank heavens for cross-fit, because the leader that is assigned to Darrin is very motivating for Darrin and he is doing things he hasn't done since football practices 12 years ago. And the expense isn't nearly what it would cost to hire a personal daily trainer. Cross-fit is working!
The other truth I in what we see on TV is that there will be times where we cheat and are in denial about it, and that we HAVE to get the truth out! Big 'D' hit that landmark this week where he cheated and made himself believe it wasn't a problem. And It resulted in NO weight loss this week. He's lucky he didn't gain. One of Darrin's biggest temptations (as crazy as it sounds) is milk. Who would guess right?? He could drink gallon after gallon a day if I let him. Milk, as healthy as they claim is full of sugar and calories, it makes you gain weight, in the consumption that Darrin drinks. When we were on WIC, the amount of milk that program hands out is absolutely ridiculous! Well, not to Darrin, he loved every gallon of it. He gave it up cold turkey on Jan 4. Maybe that was the mistake?? Maybe he needs to incorporate a glass a day into his calorie intake? When he doesn't drink milk, a gallon in our fridge actually goes bad before the girls and I can finish it. When he drinks it, we were doing at least a gallon or more a day. No lie! That's not easy on the pocket book either.
Anyways we started buying half gallons cause we didn't want the milk to go bad. On Tuesday we had just put a new half gallon in the fridge. I remember seeing it before I left for work, un-opened. And then when I got home that evening, the entire half gallon was nearly gone. Maybe 1/2 cup left to put in the homemade mashed potatoes I was making for dinner. I knew all of our habits, so I went straight to Darrin with the milk jug in my hand and asked him if he drank all the milk (already knowing the answer). He of course denied it at first and said it was the girls, then was belligerent about it and confessed he drank it, but it was over a few days time, a sip here, a sip there. I knew this wasn't the truth. I begged him to please think about it. I begged him to drop his pride and to realize that he alone had drunk the whole jug all by himself. I told him he needed to realize this so we could move on. Also our 9 year old approached me around the same time this week and told me that daddy ate a lot of peanut butter M&M's. She said... "Daddy handed me a big bag of M&M's that he bought for me as a treat, but when he gave them to me they were already almost gone. Mommy I know he hate them." She was sad for her daddy. She can see Darrin's inner demons at work when it comes to food.
Well, a couple days later Darrin finally humbled himself and confessed he'd drunk all the milk himself in one day and talked about the bag of candy. This my friends is one of the only truths you see on the weight loss reality shows. They do show the battle that the contestants go through with their temptations and its the trainers job to help them see there failures. This is a role I have been well trained on over our 12 years of marriage. I take this duty on completely. I will beat the truth out of my husband if I have to! I will not let him fail this time!! We were able to move on this week and get back on the band wagon. Darrin was able to realize that he is going to have episodes where he will cheat, and we are willing to work with that, but that he MUST come clean about it! This was the episode in our little reality show with our first break through. Now lets keep it moving!!! Here's to a good week!!!
The girls this week did GREAT! We tried asparagus, and once again, it.was.hilarious. I prepared it a few different ways, but it didn't matter, the girls still hated it it! We also went back to tomatoes and this week I also threw in Kale on our salads! Success!!!!! On Monday, our first try of the the kale on our salad, Tommye asked for another helping! A salad with kale, green leaf lettuce, and tomatoes! Oh my heavens, did this make my heart happy. Who knew that I could be this happy over my oldest eating healthy?! Brylee was sick most of the week, so I had to be more lenient with her. However she did taste all the above, but unsuccessfully. Which is OK as taste buds actually are deceitful when sickness is present. We also tried blueberries which Tommye somewhat enjoyed, Brylee hated, and Heston loved! All in all....a good "food" week!
Our family activity was insanely difficult as usual to incorporate in our week. Darrin once again studied like crazy this week and he had his first second semester exam. We HATE first exams!! Darrin added up the total contributing hours of study devoted to this exam and he came to 55 hours. EEEK! I knew he was studying hard, but yikes! Selfishly, what I heard with that number....that's 55 hours where I was a single mom supporting a full-time student husband and I began to cry by myself in my room, knowing I couldn't let Darrin see my selfish grief. But this is ok everyone! I've bounced back and I'm ready to be supporting again, I just needed a moment to myself, a moment to dwell on myself and not anyone else, and then to get back on my own horse, put my big-girl panties back on and get moving myself! It's a new week! I am proud however to report that I lost some more weight and since the end of September until now, am happy to say I have lost around 17 pounds, 20 on a good day. (Other women will know what I mean). It took me four months, but hey its good! Another 15-20 to go. We are all working on our own demons. Darrin's is food, mine is loneliness mingled with business. I am soooooo grateful for support. We couldn't keep going without it. You know who you are. :)
Oh wait....You should all know.....Darrin got an 80 on his first exam!! One of the higher scores in his class! So proud! Now, that's a reality show for you!
Here are the pics of our family activity. We went sledding. What you can't see is my bad attitude because I was SO mad that the day before we had just gotten POUNDED with snow all day for the last two days, but then the very next day there was hardly any snow to get any productive sledding done!!! And I LOVE sledding, and I was looking forward to the workout that can come from it. NOPE, not this time. At least the girls could get some speed and they loved it inspite of the lack of snow, and that made me smile and my attitude shifted :)This sled run actually had so much speed that they hit the fence and I yelled to Tommye "oh my gosh, hold on to Heston tight, don't let go!!" Good job Tommye, cause that's just what she did! Brylee actually ended up on the ground because of the force that they hit the fence, but her smile says it all!
Big enough pants?? I just realized that I have lived around 14-15 years of my life in state where it is cold and snows and I have NEVER owned my own pair of snow pants. These ones in the pic are Darrin's. I think its high time I get my own pair! Maybe at the end of this season when the prices are all marked down?? We'll see!
Daddy being a good daddy and giving us speed on the slow lack of snow hill. Also holding the tube so they could get some velocity!
Also, if anyone is interested I am attaching the plan I presented the board of directors at my work. I was so extremely nervous and I felt like I couldn't even talk anymore because my mouth was as dry as cotton! Cotton Mouth at its worst!! BUT......the board LOVED all my ideas and it's going to happen!!! I'm so dang excited. I have a lot of work to do ahead of me, but it doesn't have to be done all at once. What I am inserting here is the flyer that will get emailed to all the employees this week. Right now we are trying to determine the level employee interest. And then we can go from there. The actual flyer I have is in a more entertaining form, but for some reason this blog site won't let me put it on here that way. So you get the boring and unorganized version, sorry! If your interested, all you have to do is click on the "read more" tab below!
Thanks everybody!! A better, happier post to come next week!! Love you all!!
Sunday, February 2, 2014
WE WERE ON A BREAK!! Who else loved "Friends"?? :) 1 month mark!
We were on a break? Well, kind of.....4 weeks into the competition and it being nearly 6 months long, I thought every once a while we all needed a small break from certain details of the competition. Everything has been going so well thus far and this week we hit a wall. Maybe a well deserved wall. Then I realized the key to our family's success may depend on these walls, so I let a few things slide this past week.
Last weekend I went to Pocatello for a couple days and I didn't listen to my body as I was moving things around and I hurt my back. I've had a weak back for a couple years now, and it's pretty much always sore, but every now and then it seems as though I re-injure it. I called Darrin on Sunday to tell him I'd done something to my back, and when he answered he sounded horrible!! Ugh! Big 'D' has a stellar immune system so he doesn't get sick often, maybe once a year. But, when he does, the poor guy is down for the count. Of course all I could think was "Dang, this means he may take some steps backwards in his progress and then could fall off the band wagon once again." Well, he proved me WRONG! Monday he is up and at 'em at 4:30 a.m. and leaving for cross fit! Awesome!! Unfortunately by the way he sounded that evening, his instructors kept him home from clinicals and he was feeling worse. So there we were two "out of order" parents. This is what lead us to our break.
Tuesday Darrin took the day off from workout and pretty much layed around and I was still in too much pain to sit at the table and enforce a new veggie and fruit for the week, and we had dinners brought to us this week, which surprisingly had no vegetables, so I just went with it. Very grateful for wonderful friends who recognized our despair and brought yummy food! Even though we were on a "break" I still enforced what I could and three of our dinners this week had a salad and carrots were the snacks I turned my children to when they were hungry. On Wednesday we had a quick meal before piano lessons at Wendy's and we shared a salad there so we could fill our tummies up with a little health, before they chowed down on their chicken nuggets! This in itself is huge progress as only weeks ago my girls would be kicking and screaming at the thought of a salad at a restaurant, but on the contrary had an amazing attitude. Once again I was proud! What I need to do better on for the family is eating better while traveling! I need to bring our veggies and fruit of the week with us when we go on our little road trips. We have a lot of these since I have a lot of family and friends in Pocatello and family and soccer trips in Boise, especially in the next few months! We will work harder with only a few mild breaks! We live and we learn :)
We almost included our family activity in our break because of our situation and it was yet again a very busy week, but I was determined to keep this commitment. We can't let everything slide because then this whole healthy change could fall apart. So on Wednesday right after school we went to a new rock climbing wall that has been built near us. It was a rainy day so indoors sounded the best. We knew the girls would love it and it was something I could kinds of sit back, watch and enjoy, since I was on orders to take it easy.
I was able to get one very short climb in, more like two steps before I could feel my back twinge a little bit, but even in those short steps I could tell what a total body workout rock climbing is. My job the rest of the activity was just being mommy and keeping Heston out of the hand chalk.
The girls and Darrin LOVED it and didn't want to leave, even though we let them climb for an hour! Little monkeys with strong little muscles to go that long! Darrin needs a bigger wall!! We all look forward to doing this again, and maybe attempting a very small mountain outdoors when the weather gets warmer.
Even though Darrin was sick and missed some cardio workouts he was able to lose 1.5 pounds this week! Truthfully, I was expecting some weight gain when he got on the scale. But I was wrong! This is GREAT!! We know that his numbers must get bigger to win a competition and because he has so much to lose, but like I explained before, we expect to hit some walls, and we expect to get right back up! Monday starts a new week and new motivation! Darrin has lost a total of 20.5 pounds! I also took Darrin's 1 month measurements and pictures, WOW, is all I could think of the difference in the pictures! If Darrin can keep this up, it will be amazing!!
Last weekend I went to Pocatello for a couple days and I didn't listen to my body as I was moving things around and I hurt my back. I've had a weak back for a couple years now, and it's pretty much always sore, but every now and then it seems as though I re-injure it. I called Darrin on Sunday to tell him I'd done something to my back, and when he answered he sounded horrible!! Ugh! Big 'D' has a stellar immune system so he doesn't get sick often, maybe once a year. But, when he does, the poor guy is down for the count. Of course all I could think was "Dang, this means he may take some steps backwards in his progress and then could fall off the band wagon once again." Well, he proved me WRONG! Monday he is up and at 'em at 4:30 a.m. and leaving for cross fit! Awesome!! Unfortunately by the way he sounded that evening, his instructors kept him home from clinicals and he was feeling worse. So there we were two "out of order" parents. This is what lead us to our break.
Tuesday Darrin took the day off from workout and pretty much layed around and I was still in too much pain to sit at the table and enforce a new veggie and fruit for the week, and we had dinners brought to us this week, which surprisingly had no vegetables, so I just went with it. Very grateful for wonderful friends who recognized our despair and brought yummy food! Even though we were on a "break" I still enforced what I could and three of our dinners this week had a salad and carrots were the snacks I turned my children to when they were hungry. On Wednesday we had a quick meal before piano lessons at Wendy's and we shared a salad there so we could fill our tummies up with a little health, before they chowed down on their chicken nuggets! This in itself is huge progress as only weeks ago my girls would be kicking and screaming at the thought of a salad at a restaurant, but on the contrary had an amazing attitude. Once again I was proud! What I need to do better on for the family is eating better while traveling! I need to bring our veggies and fruit of the week with us when we go on our little road trips. We have a lot of these since I have a lot of family and friends in Pocatello and family and soccer trips in Boise, especially in the next few months! We will work harder with only a few mild breaks! We live and we learn :)
We almost included our family activity in our break because of our situation and it was yet again a very busy week, but I was determined to keep this commitment. We can't let everything slide because then this whole healthy change could fall apart. So on Wednesday right after school we went to a new rock climbing wall that has been built near us. It was a rainy day so indoors sounded the best. We knew the girls would love it and it was something I could kinds of sit back, watch and enjoy, since I was on orders to take it easy. I was able to get one very short climb in, more like two steps before I could feel my back twinge a little bit, but even in those short steps I could tell what a total body workout rock climbing is. My job the rest of the activity was just being mommy and keeping Heston out of the hand chalk.
The girls and Darrin LOVED it and didn't want to leave, even though we let them climb for an hour! Little monkeys with strong little muscles to go that long! Darrin needs a bigger wall!! We all look forward to doing this again, and maybe attempting a very small mountain outdoors when the weather gets warmer.
Even though Darrin was sick and missed some cardio workouts he was able to lose 1.5 pounds this week! Truthfully, I was expecting some weight gain when he got on the scale. But I was wrong! This is GREAT!! We know that his numbers must get bigger to win a competition and because he has so much to lose, but like I explained before, we expect to hit some walls, and we expect to get right back up! Monday starts a new week and new motivation! Darrin has lost a total of 20.5 pounds! I also took Darrin's 1 month measurements and pictures, WOW, is all I could think of the difference in the pictures! If Darrin can keep this up, it will be amazing!!
Stats: Darrin lost around 1.5 inches off each measurement. I tried my hardest to place the tape measure at the same spot on each reading! I did it 3 times to make sure :) I did realize after the fact, that I need to bring the camera a little closer to him as I did in the initial photos and need to create the same lighting. Hey, I'm learning!
These stats are from Jan 5.
weight: 342 lb.
peck/bust - 55.5 in.
real waist - 56.5 in.
arms/bicep - 19 in.
thighs - 28.5
and now Feb. 2
weight: 321.5 Lost 20.5 lb
pecks/bust: 54in 1.5in
real waist: 55in 1.5in
bicep: 17in 2in
thigh: 28in .5in
Feb 2. Jan 5.
Regardless of the lighting and close up differences in the pics it's still awesome the difference we can see already in Big 'D'! He swears he wasn't "sucking in" on his side shot, but I'm telling him he is, HAHA! But I still see some great changes in that shot! Can't wait for next month! Today is super bowl sunday, and Darrin so far is doing great. It is his cheat meal for the week, but don't worry, Nazi Wifey is back on duty....pun intended! I know, I'm a dork!
See you next week!
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