I myself have been up and down for most of my adult life for many different reasons. But over 3 years ago I committed myself to a healthier lifestyle. It was a lonely commitment because once again, I knew I couldn't make Darrin do it with me. I began to exercise on a regular basis. In the beginning I would work out sometimes three times a day and on average currently I do 90 min cardio 4-5 days a week and 30-45 minutes of strength training 3 days a week. I started eating healthier, but mostly I started eating in moderation. (more extreme healthy eating is my biggest struggle) Shoot, if losing weight in my case were only about calories in and calories out, then I would be one hot momma and weight loss would be easy because I would consistently see results. Weightloss for me has never been thus way. It is definitely highly based on calories in calories burned, but in my case, not all of it, because I'm living proof of that. Its taken me 4.5 months to lose 18 pounds....and I promise thats definitely not caloreis in calories out. At many times in my journey the hours of exercise I put in with calories burned and the the amount of calories I've eaten just don't show the science on the scale. Again, if it were science, then it would be easy. Women in particular have to add pregnancies, metabolisms and different hormone levels in to the equation. Men do to, but this is a battle more women have to deal with. I guess what my point is.....many, many times I have had to tell myself not to let the scale get me down and to keep up the hard work because eventually it will pay off, eventually. ANYWAYS Once I committed, I stayed committed and I lost most of my weight. (which has been around 70-90 pounds because at one point I hit 235lb)
Once I lost weight, I was able to maintain for a while, but eventually saw a few pounds returning because of an injury I had and was unable to exercise. (well, exercise the way I wanted to, which is a huge mental block!) I was also experiencing a difficult and painful miscarriage at the time. Sadly, when I don't eat right then I don't like to exercise, and when I don't exercise I don't like to eat right. A very vicious cycle. Soooo, this is what lead to creating a "mental cushion" BIG goal so to speak. This cushion was that I could not gain more than 20 pounds EVER the whole rest of my life. Some may think this is too big of a cushion, but remember...I am a woman....and want more babies, so I set this goal accordingly...keeping in mind the pain I was in, doctors recommendations and pregnancy weight gain. Haha, what did I do? I gained twenty pounds....grrrr! But I was grateful for my mental set-point because that was all I let myself gain and then I dabbled with those twenty pounds for the next year because of different injuries and also another pregnancy. So that's what I have been left with twenty pounds! Well, after this last baby I stayed committed to my initial goals and I have lost about 18 of those 20 pounds and now would like to lose another 15. I keep wanting to lose more, and need to lose more once I reach a goal. Just the story of every ones lives right?!
I don't know why staying committed has been something doable for me. Maybe it's a gift? Don't get me wrong, it definitely hasn't been easy on any level, but this does not mean that because things get hard you give up. Commitment isn't easy, it's doable. I've struggled with many different trials and with many different schedules. I've had it "easy" and "slow" at times and I've had it "difficult" and "fast". I could give you my stories, but that my friends, would have to be a different blog. Lets just say, I'm like everyone else, I've been through some hard things too. I actually, very much, appreciate my many different situations because now I can't hold myself to any excuses. When I hear myself think of different excuses of why I don't want to work out or why I want to eat something full of fat, I also hear myself say "Sorry tootz, been there, done that, move on and get it done." I know my trials aren't finished and I know that I probably haven't been through my hardest yet, but I'm in high hopes that I can stay true to this lifestyle I committed to three years ago. It feels too good! A couple years ago on Thanksgiving trip, I was having a family discussion and I brought up my past pregnancy weight gain disappointments and my fears of such during my current pregnancy. One of my brother's-in-law said to me "Annie, you're like an athlete now, you know what your doing, you'll be fine." He said it in such a matter-of-fact tone. I was on cloud nine! I have many in-laws who are athletes and I have always admired their athletic abilities and mind sets. This particular brother-in-law may not even remember saying this to me and probably doesn't know the effect his words had on me. However, they set the tone for the rest of my pregnancy and for my future. I had a new motto that season to add to my motto list.... "I'm an athlete, I can do this".
Are you understanding my passion now?? I want to stay active and I want to continue eating right. No, I don't want to feel deprived. I still have "fun eating" at many times. Lets face it, life is fun, fun at many times involves eating, and eating is fun! But that doesn't mean you aren't committed!! I want to be able to, for as long as possible, play soccer with my kids and have fun jumping on a trampoline with them. Our family activity this week we went to a way cool trampoline place. I jumped with my girls for nearly an hour and had a blast! That evening I heard my girls having a conversation and it went something like this.... Brylee: "You know, we have a cool mommy because she jumped with us." Tommye-Lynn replied: "I already knew mommy was cool, I've known that for over 9 years now." This made me smile so darn big!! This is what I want! To do things with my kids!! And this is why I take Darrin's success personally, because I want daddy to be able to do things with his kids too!!! THIS IS PERSONAL!!! Darrin wasn't able to jump with us because of the 280lb weight limit. You could tell this kinda stung. Darrin sat lonely on the sidelines watching us play. We all felt it, we all missed him in that moment. This will be our "before" activity. Hopefully on week 24, Darrin will be able to join!?
Like I said, I wasn't going to do a post today because am sad and upset. But I decided to, because I still believe in Darrin. I still have hope that he can change. He did so well this week with his cross-fit workouts. He LOVES his cross-fit. I'm glad we have found this outlet and that it was made possible for him to do cross-fit. But at the same time, he has to raise the bar and do more cardio. It's not the only ingredient in his recipe for weight loss. For someone who has over 100 pounds to lose you have to do a whole lot more cardio than that. To be able climb mountains, run races, and do long distance or long/high endurance aerobic activities, lke he wants to do, he has to but in the miles at the gym doing cardio. I definitely love what these cross-fit workouts have been doing for Darrin, but he MUST get the cardio in, and he has got to change his views on moderation and eating better. Eating is such a HUGE key.... He keeps flip flopping between diets. He's trying to find a silver lining way of eating. Sorry, there just isn't one. It's only eating healthy and clean that will get it done. Fuel for the body. This is the key. Darrin has the key and just needs to use it correctly. Yep, I wasn't going to post, but I realized once again, I'm not going to give up on my husband. I won't do it.I'm going to work harder on him, hold him more accountable. Encourage him and try to motivate him. He may not end taking the grand prize in this competition, but he can still change his life. And if he really wants to, he really could still win the grand prize. But his sights need to be set on something even bigger.....His activity with his kids and his wife?? Nope, even bigger....his life, his health, his death. Again, this isn't being dramatic, this is real life; and I want my husband in that life.
Other stats.....this week our family healthy food experiment included zucchini, peas and cantaloupe. Cantaloupe was and easy one, because the girls like this one, they just let themselves forget that they liked that fruit. :) We even had a friend of Tommye's come over for a dinner and homework night and she participated in our experiment. She actually hates a lot of veggies too. She was hesitant, but such a good trooper. She actually ended up asking for another helping! Way to go Taylor! The girls still don't like zucchini but are now tolerant of peas. And of course love the cantaloupe. :) I am so excited about the changes my girls are making. They are trying new things even outside of new vegetable and fruits. Their whole mind sets are changing and that is what this family competition is all about!And now, FINALLY our "before" activity....just a little behind our time line. We are human right?
Pics of the Jump Time activity! Our little gymnist :)
Mommy getting good "air" on our slam dunk contest and race with Tommeye! Sorry its blurry!!
I have also gotten a GREAT response so far to our FHS employee health activity!!! I am thrilled!! I'll post more details next week. And I really really really hope to have some good news next week with Darrin's progress!! Actually, I do have some fun news for you......Darrin and I are starting a 6-week ballroom dance class next week where we will be learning the cha cha every Thursday night! What a great way to workout and to get closer as a couple. I'm so excited about this, and grateful for a husband who will do this with me.!! There is always hope, and I believe Darrin can do this. Lets not give up on him!!! We love you Big 'D'!!!!! Where do we go from here??? Up.
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